Things Men Say and Women Don’t

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“Are you going somewhere?” Jerry asked me the other morning.

I said I wasn’t.

“You’re putting your war paint on. I thought that meant you’re going somewhere.”

Well, Jerry, it’s because I’m about to go on the warpath!

I’m ready! I’ve got my war paint on.

The words men use amuse me. I don’t personally know any woman who refers to make-up as war paint.

I got to thinking of other things men say, and women don’t. Here are some examples.

“I made three boring bars today.” Okay, maybe this is not what most men say, just guys like Jerry who have a metal lathe. Jerry announced this news to me this afternoon. Kidding, I asked, “Do you only make boring bars and not interesting bars?” I knew “boring bars” is machine tool-talk. I knew he meant he made metal tools that bore a hole in metal materials. Jerry smiled and showed me what is interesting about his boring bars. I was amazed to see the detailed tools he created out of scrap metal. But still, do you know any woman who has announced to you she made boring bars?  Maybe you do. read more

Mother’s Day Pumpkin Face

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Welllll-come,” a blonde-haired lady says in a haunting voice, like a spider ready to trap the fly.

On one side of the room, water gushes down the side of a stone wall. It suggests pipes have burst from somewhere in the ceiling. But it’s actually a water feature in the spa’s lobby.

“Just a little paperwork,” says the blonde-haired lady as she hands me a form on a clipboard.

I don’t know how you celebrate Mother’s Day, but I’m observing the occasion by treating myself to a facial at this spa with low-lighting and a gushing wall. But first, paperwork. read more

My Disappointment (sad face)

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Even the sign shows a red cup. Imagine the disappointment!

“Coffee in white cups?” I ask, aghast.

The server smiles, “Yes.”

“But the name of your coffee shop is the Red Cup Café. I expected red cups.”

The server smiles again, one of those knowing smiles conveying I’m not the first customer who has brought this to her attention.

“Our owner’s favorite color is red, so she named it the Red Cup Café,” she says with no further explanation.

The Red Cup Café is one my favorite stops when I visit Mukilteo, Washington. It has funky art with colorful flower gardens and wooden-carved statues. It overlooks a beautiful view of Puget Sound. I love the coffee and the neon red “Howdy” sign in the window. But it doesn’t make sense to me that a coffee house called Red Cup Café serves beverages in white coffee cups. read more

The World Is Going Nuts

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What happened to the ticket booths at the movie theater? You know, the ones where you pay your money to a cashier and get your ticket? You tell the person behind the window you want to see Such-and-Such movie. And you know the ticket-seller thinks you’re waaay younger than you are, but ‘looks can be deceiving’ and you insist you get the senior discount just the same? What happened to those ticket booth persons?

I didn’t see a ticket booth anywhere last night when entering the movie theater. Instead a bank of computers, lit up in colorful futuristic lights, called out to moviegoers. It appears, you not only tell the computer what movie you want, but where you want to sit. You stick a debit card in the machine and a ticket comes out with very faint lettering notifying of your seat number and row. read more

Have Your Soup and Eat Their Soup Too

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“This soup is really not what I ordered,” I say aloud.

“Oh, that’s my soup,” says Judi, fellow Compassion sponsor and muy buena amiga (aka Audrey Hepburn in a previous blog).

Judi adds with a smile, “That’s okay. You can have my soup.”

We probably sat at one of these tables.

I’m in Mexico, seated outside at a sidewalk café. It’s our last day in Oaxaca and I sit with many of my fellow Compassion sponsors. Nineteen of us have gathered from all over the U.S. for a week-long tour in Oaxaca, which includes a day with the child we sponsor through Compassion International. Our week together is about to come to a close. read more