Author Archives: Bronwyn Wilson

5 Reasons to Smile, or Laugh

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  • Nutrisystem commercials state, “Eat the food, lose the weight.” A voice on the TV explains you can eat pizza, hamburgers, French fries, and ice cream and you lose weight. What isn’t explained is the amount of food you can eat to lose the weight. You want ice cream? You can have ¼ teaspoon. Pizza? You may smell it only. French fries? Imagine eating it because that’s the only way you will lose weight eating French fries. Marie Osmond announces she lost 50 pounds on Nutrisystem. However, she doesn’t explain this occurred after she removed her gold jewelry.

    To lose weight, you imagine eating these French fries only. Diet plan that works–never eat, only imagine.

  • Bananas. This is the funniest fruit ever. And not because people slip on their peels, which I never thought funny anyway. This fruit is laughable because it has the capability to deceive you very cleverly. You pick the best bunch of bananas you can find in the store’s produce department. You don’t want the green ones because sometimes they never ripen. So you choose the nice yellow bunch. By the time you get your bananas home, they have broken out in brown speckles all over. When you decide you want a banana later that day, you find your bunch of bananas have shriveled to black. Now this may be an Arizona occurrence because I don’t remember that I needed to hit the gas and race home with my bananas when I lived in Washington state. It’s colder there and bananas seem to prefer the Pacific Northwest. The brown speckles didn’t appear for several days back in Washington. In addition, banana is a funny-sounding word. It has no dignified sophistication like a peach or pear. The word banana is fun to say and rhyme, like Banana nana bo bana, fe fi fo fana, or Bananarama. Also, we use the word to refer to someone who is crazy. “He’s bananas.” No one says, “he’s artichokes.” 
  • Wednesdays. It’s trash day in our neighborhood on Wednesdays. I find it funny because it’s Trashy Hump Day for us. If our trash day landed on Tuesday, it would not be funny. Trashy Tuesday isn’t funny.
  • Instant Pot. It’s a pot that makes delicious meals in 10 minutes. The Instant Pot meals come out perfect with the meat very tender and vegetables cooked to perfection. This happens because the Instant Pot is like a huge pressurized sauna for your food. I regret all those years I had attempted to cook food in an oven or on the stove, which resulted in tough meat and lackluster vegetables. Now I have the Instant Pot. Who would have thought a nice steamy sauna for your food would make life so much easier? The Instant Pot gives me a rest from my previous cooking tactics of hacking, burning, boiling, and frying–not to mention, frustrated and screaming with kitchen knife in hand.

    I receive no compensation for saying this item has given me renewed peace in the kitchen.

  • Yard signs with serious threats.βω♥

    This sign is posted in Phoenix. “Children found climbing our Rock Wall will be sold to the Circus.” Children were suspiciously missing when I took this picture.  

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    The Mood of No

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    A woman in the booth behind me blurted, “WHA-AAAAT?”

    Moments earlier, Jerry and I had congratulated ourselves on choosing a booth where we could enjoy quiet in one of our favorite lunch spots. Jerry bit into his grilled ham and cheese sandwich and I took a delicate swig of my coffee.

    I couldn’t see the woman, but I could hear her over the café’s chattering, kitchen-clanking din. Her agitated outburst continued, “I DON’T WANT TO BE NEGATIVE HERE, BUT WHY DID SHE SEND EVERYONE AN EMAIL ABOUT ME? SHE HASN’T SAID ANYTHING TO ME.” read more

    Five Tips For a Better Life (possibly even happier)

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    1.Rename things. I’ve found that giving new names to ordinary things provides a positive outlook. It also gives new meaning and joy to your everyday world. This is how it works. Jerry and I have a den in our home. Den sounds crass to me. It’s where animals hide. Therefore, I renamed our den the Entertainment Room. Never mind it doesn’t have a popcorn machine. The Entertainment Room is a more enjoyable space to view my 32-inch TV than when we called it the den. We have a spare bedroom at our house, but we never call it a spare bedroom. It is my Writing Studio. We have an enclosed patio with floor to ceiling glass, but enclosed patio is not what we call it. It’s our Atrium, of course. We have a garbage can enclosure on the side of our house. I prefer to call it the Hideaway Retreat for Used Throwaways and Slightly Rotting Produce. You see what I mean? Renaming things gives you a new perspective on your life. By renaming things, you can upgrade your world into an amazing Shangri-la. read more

    The Saddest Part of 2018 (you probably don’t realize)

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    Some people say “the good ol’ days weren’t so good.” I’m here to tell you, they are wrong.

    In the good ol’ days, like 1987, we didn’t have cell phones. At least they weren’t a common household item. Cellular phones in 1987 cost about as much as a Ferrari and were the size and weight of a toaster. They didn’t fit very well inside our purse. They didn’t make toast.

    Most everyone in 1987 had touch-tone dial phones that sat on desks or hung on the walls. We almost always answered the phone every time it blasted its loud jangle. We didn’t have caller i.d. and we never knew who might be calling. The thing is, in 1987 you could still hope for a fun phone call. read more

    The Dirt In My Life

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    Writing a blog isn’t as easy as I first thought. You have to come up with topics and sometimes I can’t think of a thing to write on. Add to this, some of the topics I could write about are too sad, or too personal. Some people have asked me to not write about them in my blog, wanting to remain as private as possible. Some think I might embarrass them and have asked me to give them an alias. Since I write on my life’s musings, this limits my range of interesting topics. It limits people I can embarrass too. read more