Happy Food Deprivation Anniversary To Us!

“Can’t we sit outside?” I asked our hostess as she led us to an indoor window table. I added, “I requested an outdoor table by the creek.”

Our hostess, a young twenty-something with long flowing hair like Rapunzel-in-the-making, gave me a pouty, glum look and shook her head slowly, “Not tonight, it’s raining.”

“It’s not raining,” I said, although I knew we had arrived in Sedona to celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary in the heart of the monsoon season. It had rained earlier in the day. read more

Do you ever wonder why doctors have wheels on their chairs?

(l-r) Nurses at Chandler Regional, Jackie, Lindsey, and the third nurse is a roving nurse who I didn’t have for very long and I don’t remember her name. Jackie and Lindsey were with me my entire stay and are super wonderful.

While in the hospital recovering from hip replacement surgery, my eyes opened to something I hadn’t thought of before. The EMTs, the nurses, my surgeon, and the nursing assistants didn’t need to extend kindnesses beyond their job requirements. Yet, many of them did.

“Jerry, would you like some coffee,” nurse Jackie asked, noticing Jerry seated next to my hospital bed. He said he would and that he needed ice in the coffee to cool it down. Soon Jackie returned with a giant cup of coffee and a cup of ice. Count this as one of the many things I noticed that I wouldn’t have expected. I would have thought Jackie would say, “You can grab a cup of coffee in the cafeteria.” But to get it for him? I didn’t expect that. read more

Noodle Crisis at 347 Grill

Oh, I’m so outraged. No noodles in the soup. Take it back.

“Um, excuse me,” I said to our young server who had the looks and style of a Kardashian. “My chicken noodle soup doesn’t have any noodles.”

Kim, I’ll call her Kim just for the sake of not knowing her real name, stopped and inspected my soup.  She leaned over for a better look.

I glanced at her, waiting for her immediate reaction, such as, “Whada’ya know! No noodles,” and whisk my soup away for a fast exchange of soup with noodles.

But Kim didn’t say anything and gave me a perplexed expression, her eyeliner and jewelry flashing dazzling sparkles in the dimmed lighting. read more

Facing Emotional Pain

Although I’ve had physical pain and difficult challenges in the past few months, probably the worst I’ve ever had to deal with, I’m reminded that emotional pain hurts and scars even more.

I lived in an abusive environment for the first eighteen years of my life. The day I moved out of our family house, I felt like my emancipation had arrived. I felt a giddiness that life might be kinder to me since I had escaped from the tyranny of the home I lived in.

My sister, still in high school, escaped with me and we rented an apartment in a well-lit apartment complex featuring a whooshing water wheel, palm trees, and one loud neighbor. It promised a new beginning for us, and my sister continued to attend school while holding a job at night. read more

Shout ‘Who the Blank Are You?’ While Feasting on Shredded Wheat

What to do with yourself when recovering from hip replacement surgery

  1. Watch a marathon of “Iyanla Fix My Life” on the Oprah channel. The title says it all. Iyanla tries very hard to fix the lives of people who are broken from abuse, molestation, drugs, neglect, heartache. She says things that most people wouldn’t say, but she says it in a commanding way. She’ll stare at a mother seated with her six grown daughters and she’ll shout to the mother while waving her arm with authority, “YOUR DAUGHTERS DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE…TELL YOUR DAUGHTERS RIGHT NOW WHO THE ‘HELL’ YOU ARE!” It’s kind of riveting to watch as Iyanla gets to the heart of the matter. The mother looks like she wants to crawl out the door. She doesn’t want to say who the (blank) she is. As I watched this family drama unfold, Jerry interrupted my Iyanla marathon. He asked what he might get for me at the store. I said to him in in the same commanding force Iyanla would say it, “I CAN’T TALK NOW. I’M WRAPPED UP IN THIS SHOW. I’LL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S OVER.” I realize Jerry already knows who the (blank) I am. Or does he? At any rate, he quickly leaves me in my solitude. After all, our Arizona cable doesn’t have I Love Lucy reruns, so instead of laughing—I shout with Iyanla.

Iyanla talks to a lady in a white dress on the beach. Iyanla is getting ready to ask her who the blank she is.

  • 2. Order books on Amazon for my Kindle. I like the 99-cent Kindle books the best but they are not usually the gripping kind of books I would like to read. You have to spend $9.99 to get a really good book for the Kindle and I just can’t spend that when you can get a nice paperback for that price. Since I can’t get to the library right now, I read cheap books on my Kindle. I did splurge and buy a $6.99 book for my Kindle and did not get the full $6.99 worth of reading pleasure. Then Jerry offered to go to the library for me. I now have books to read that don’t make me feel angry I paid $6.99 for a book that talks in every chapter about foie gras and how it melted over the author’s tongue in sheer delight. This is duck liver she’s writing about. Oh, I’m so thankful for the library.
  • 3. Turn on Roy Orbison music very loud and do my physical therapy exercises. I love it when Roy sings “Pretty Woman.” Yes, of course, he is singing to me.  “Pretty woman, hobblin’ down the street
    Pretty woman, with a new metal hip that can’t be beat,
    Pretty woman
    I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
    No one could look as good as you! Merrrr-cy.” ….Whoo! (high kick with good leg)
  • 4. Feast on bowls of shredded wheat like there’s no tomorrow. I had no desire for shredded wheat before my surgery. But afterward all I could think of is shredded wheat in milk, maybe with blueberries and bananas. Every other food tastes like sawdust to me. Salads, which I loved in my pre-surgery days, are now nauseating. It’s like being pregnant without the excitement of a baby in your future. I wondered what caused my craving and I looked this up online and discovered that people often lose their appetite after surgery. Some have cravings. While searching this subject I came across a post where a lady stated she craved bowls of Rice Chex after her hip replacement surgery. What is there about cereal and hip replacement surgery? I can only surmise the trauma of surgery sticks in your psyche and all you want is to comfort yourself with cold cereal that isn’t too sugary.
  • 5. Tell jokes to yourself. Laughter is the best medicine so why not make yourself laugh.

Here’s a joke for me. A man telephoned the airlines and asked, “how long does it take to fly from Seattle to Boston?” The clerk replied, “Just a minute…” The man said, “Thank you,” and hung up.

6. Take a two or three-hour nap. I’m thinking I might need one right now. 7. Remember not to say to Jerry, “I owe you big for all the things you’ve done for me.” Well I did say this to him because he brings me tea and makes blueberry pancakes for me and takes care of the cats, plants, laundry, meals and grocery shopping. When Jerry realized I felt indebted to him, he helped me out with my repayment by ordering lots of things he wants on eBay. 8. Nurture the fern that suffered an accidental lack of water while I was in the hospital. It dried to a brown crisp and suffered a near-death experience. One green frond hung on and now struggles to survive. I spend much time caring for it. The fern and I, together, will survive.

The fern experienced an unintentional oversight while I was in the hospital. But it will survive.

  • 9. Text friends. My friend Nancy sends me raps to cheer me up. She sends them via text or email with lots of emojis. She has made it her job to keep me cheered through this entire recovery process. It has worked too. Here’s one Nancy recently sent.
  •   read more