Monthly Archives: March 2015

What Lies Beyond My Day of Dread and Doctor With Bedhead

Sometimes I take mental vacations. I often go to Hawaii.

Sometimes I take mental vacations when a gynecologist pokes and prods to the point of pain. I often go to Hawaii. If bears in coconut bras greet me there, all the better.

The doctor, a gynecologist, blustered through the door of the exam room.

His silver streaked hair exploded in different directions like he hadn’t combed it in months. I’m sure a few birds nested in it. He had a wild-eyed look about him like a hunted animal seeking refuge. Perhaps he’d delivered several babies during the night and hadn’t yet had a chance to relax and tee off at the country club. He didn’t seem too interested in knowing me.  He didn’t offer a smile or a handshake, just an abrupt “I’m Dr. Badhair.” Of course his name isn’t really Badhair but I’m not using his real name to protect me.

read more

Cinderella’s Eyebrows and the Lost Mystery Purse

Cinderella1

♪ ♫MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT, YOU’RE ADDICTED TO LOVE,

MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT, YOU’RE ADDICTED TO LOVE, ♪ ♫

“That is so loud,” Jerry says to me as we lean back in our movie theater seats. The movie screen features a tube of Revlon lipstick the size of the Empire State building. The song lyrics “addicted to love” blast through the speakers as plump, glossy, red lips, 20-feet tall, kiss the screen.

Jerry and I had just settled into our balcony Star Class seats. We paid extra for the seats which are roomier and more comfy than the downstairs gallery. We didn’t anticipate, however, the movie speakers would be nestled two-feet from our ears.

read more

Life Is An Adventure (patio heaters and giraffes make it even better)

We cruise along the highway inside Sondra’s car. I’m in the passenger seat, Julie and Phyllis share the back. The sun brightens the Arizona desert with the kind of pristine morning light I don’t usually see since I’m often in bed at this hour.

We take an exit and circle the IHOP parking lot in search of Kathy. Suddenly we see her waving and smiling.

Our plan: we’ll all ride together in one car as we continue on our adventure.

The concern for space begins. Which car, Kathy’s or Sondra’s, has more room? We examine the backseats of Sondra’s and Kathy’s cars to gauge which has the bigger back seat for three people to ride in comfort. I have a claim on the front passenger seat and no one suggests I give it up. Remember everyone? It’s my birthday? Kathy, Sondra, Julie and Phyllis have sweet and generous natures. They let me keep the front seat. I’m prone to motion sickness and the thought of being in the back causes nausea. Thank goodness for my birthday and for caring friends.

read more

Crunching Crisis

Arizona has cactus, Camelback Mountain, and wonderful Mexican food.

Arizona has cactus, Camelback Mountain, and wonderful options for good Mexican food. It also has very loud chips.

Jerry and I enjoyed a delicious lunch at a cozy booth in one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. We had no indication a problem would erupt. All seemed well.

The serving staff set a nearby long table for a large party. Perhaps a birthday, I thought.

Traditional Mexican decor with cheerful flair surrounded us in the dimly-lit room.  Jerry chatted on about the special qualities of a Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle.

A rumbling, mumbling, scuffing sound soon interrupted us as a troop of junior high kids marched in and took seats at the long table located next to our booth.

read more