Tag Archives: funny blog

The Benefits of Sickness

During Victoria, my favorite Sunday evening TV show, my muscles twisted into knots. My stomach rumbled with a dull pain, as if a storm brewed. Suddenly I lost interest in the show’s storyline.
Let me explain. I love watching Victoria, a PBS series based on the life of Queen Victoria. I make a big deal when this show comes on. I fix myself a cup of tea, cuddle up with my blanket, and turn the lights out to make it feel like I’m at a movie theater. Of course, it’s not exactly like a movie theater. I don’t have people whispering loudly behind me. No one sits in front of me flashing their cell phone screen as they read their text messages.
In my home movie theater environment, I’m savoring my tea when the stomach churns and the muscles ache. Suddenly I don’t care if the villagers riot at Victoria’s gate. Large objects sail through Queen Victoria’s fancy, castle window. Yet, I don’t care. And on top of this, I don’t care that Prince Albert is adorably cute. Something is very wrong. I’m usually so in to the program.
As the night continues on, the symptoms of stomach flu hit hard. In the stomach world, I’m having Hurricane Katrina. For the next two days I stay in bed except for the grueling treks to the bathroom. Jerry hears a blow-by-blow detailed account of my misery. That could be the reason he offers to go to the store to get flu meds, hoping for a reprieve from listening to my litany of ailments.
Foods I ordinarily love suddenly seem abhorrent. The thought of coffee, or salad, or anything edible gives me the desire to writhe on the floor flapping my tongue in agony. Except for… bananas. For some reason, bananas hold a special place in my heart. We have no bananas and the longing for them takes over my thought processes.
All of the things I usually love doing, like reading, walking, guzzling coffee (well, maybe I don’t actually guzzle), and slathering age-defying creams all over my face don’t interest me at all. Gravity has already barged in my door, completely uninvited. Why defy it? None of that interests me. The only thing I care about right now is…yes! Bananas…Jerry drives to the store to buy bananas. read more

The Dirt In My Life

Writing a blog isn’t as easy as I first thought. You have to come up with topics and sometimes I can’t think of a thing to write on. Add to this, some of the topics I could write about are too sad, or too personal. Some people have asked me to not write about them in my blog, wanting to remain as private as possible. Some think I might embarrass them and have asked me to give them an alias. Since I write on my life’s musings, this limits my range of interesting topics. It limits people I can embarrass too. read more

SpongeBob, Skinny Dipping, and Other Simple Pleasures of Life

Recently, I learned one of my friends enjoys skinny dipping, explaining how liberating it feels to swim in unrefined freedom. This caused me to think about the simple pleasures of life and the satisfaction they bring. That said, here’s a list of mine.

SpongeBob MailPants

1. Receiving a SpongeBob MailPants postcard in the mail.

Imagine my delight at finding the giant postcard with the bright yellow, toothy, sponge face of SpongeBob SquarePants staring up at me soon after plucking it out of my mailbox. On the card’s other side my 10-year-old nephew Gary thanked me for money I had sent him in lieu of his school fundraiser (which I had missed) and his congratulations on my becoming an author. Nothing could make my day more special than this. read more